go ahead.

diz gonna be a looong psot.

a short course in comparative religion - at the bottom.

a cat jumps into your window. at night.
- do you know kung-fu?
- used to do lot of yoga. in my childhood.
- life is short, get a helmet - and the cat slams you with a baseball bat.

BOOM!!!

and the world goes round.

you see a tunnel, big round dark tunnel full of shit.

take a closer look - it is just stuff from your tv, from teh internet, youtube, facebook, twitter, shit-shit-shit and nothing more, radio sounds and flashing frames from tv shows back in the 50ies, shit which smells like your old risen beer or coffee, shit which looks like neighbor who kidnaps and kills 7 yrs old child, shit like policemen having fun of disabled beggar, shit what sounds like already 6 year old reformation promises, shit, just shit and nothing more.

- kinda like this shit - says the cat lighting a cigar - u like this portuguese shit?
- white wine? i do actually.
- so drink and drive - smiles cat - and do not override.
- shit, cat, you kiddin' me?
- take a look at this.

Taoism — Shit happens.

Confucianism — Confucius says: “Shit happens”.

Buddhism — If shit happens, it is not really shit.

Zen Buddhism — Shit is, and is not.

Hinduism — This shit happened before.

Shintoism — This shit happens everywhere.

Judaism — Why does this shit always happen to us?

Christianity — Shit happens to sinners.

Islam — Shit happens if it is the will of God.

Astrology — Shit is written in the stars.

Catholicism — If shit happens, you deserve it.

Protestantism — Shit happens, so let's make it worthwhile.

Lutheranism — When shit happens, change the subject.

Calvinism — Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.

Anglicanism — More shit happens in Rome.

Presbyterianism — This shit was bound to happen.

Episcopalism — It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.

Methodism — It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve it with grape juice.

Congregationalism — Shit that happens to one person is just as good as that happens to another.

Hasidism — Shit never happens the same way twice.

Orthodox Judaism — So shit happens, already!

Samaritanism — Your shit is my shit.

Zoroastrianism — Shit happens half of the time.

Jainism — All shit happens to be alive.

Sikhism — Leave our shit alone.

Ba'hai — We are the shit that happens.

Sufism — The wise man has other things on his mind when shit happens.

Mithra — Shit shall continue to happen until the return of Mithras.

Platonism — There is an ideal shit, of which all the shit that happens is but an imperfect image.

Animism — Some shit happier than others.

Baptism — It's not too bad if shit happens just before washing.

Anabaptism — It's not so bad if shit happens, just clean up afterwards.

Mennonitism — Shit happens, but as long as you're sorry, it's OK.

Greek Orthodox Church — Shit happens, usually in three's.

Russian Orthodox Church — Do not think shit does not happen.

Seventh Day Adventism — No shit shall happen on Saturday.

Televangelism — Send more shit.

Evangelism — If shit happens, pass it on.

Unitarianism — All shit that happens, is one.

Universalism — All that happens, is one shit.

Christian Science — Shit happening is all in your mind.

Secular Humanism — Shit evolves.

Gnosticism — If shit happens, it's a secret.

Theosophy — You don't know half of the shit that happens.

Polytheism — Shit happens for a variety of reasons.

Occultism — Sh, it happens.

Mysticism — Some weird shit is going on.

Shamanism — Holy shit!

Quakers — Let us not quarrel over this shit.

Amish — Shit happening is good for the soil.

Deism — God did not make this shit happen.

Sophism — If shit happens, don't step in it.

Solopsism — If it doesn't happen, it can't be shit.

Utopianism — This shit doesn't smell at all.

Darwinism — This shit was once food.

Creationism — No shit happened before Sunday 23 October 4004 BC.

Puritanism — S*** can happen all day as long as you don't call it that.

Fundamentalism — Shit happens from within.

Chauvinism — No matter how shit, we happen.

Despotism — Let only one shit happen.

Feminism — Shit is male as it happens.

Nationalism — Shit happens in the global village.

Patriotism — Our shit happens better than yours.

Fascism — Shit happens right on time.

Marxism — Shit has nothing to lose but to happen.

Stalinism — In five years, shit will happen on an industrial scale.

Communism — Let's share this shit.

Capitalism — That's my shit.

Socialism — The same shit happens to everyone.

Anarchism — This shit is going to hit the fan.

Commercialism — If shit happens, sell it.

Head-in-the-sandism — If there is no shit, it doesn't happen.

Conservatism — Shit doesn't happen like it used to.

Opportunism — It would be silly for shit not to happen.

Idolism — Let's bronze this shit.

Purism — If shit must happen, let only shit happen.

Idealism — Be prepared that all shit will happen, eventually.

Apathism — Who gives a shit?

Freudianism — Shit that happens is like sex.

Behaviorism — Shit is conditioned to happen.

Empiricism — Shit only happens if I see it happen.

Relativism — Every shit happens differently.

Stoicism — This shit doesn't bother me.

Epicurism — Shit happens after a good meal.

Impressionism — From a distance, this shit looks like a garden.

Expressionism — Excrement comes and goes.

Cubism — Happen shits.

Minimalism — More than enough shit happens as it does.

Existentialism — What is this shit, anyway?

Objectivism — Shit happens to happen.

Individualism — Let's make shit happen so at least we know who to blame.

Populism — If shit happens, silence the perpetrators.

Progressivism — Less shit happens every day, relatively speaking.

Egalitarianism — Shit and no shit happen both.

Orwellianism — Big shit is happening to you.

Mormonism — This shit is going to happen again.

Scientology — If shit happens, see ‘Dianetics’, page 157.

Jehovah’s Witnesses — Shit has been prophesied and is imminent, and only the righteous shall survive its happening.

Hare Krishna — Shit happens, rama, rama.

Moonism — Only really happy shit happens.

Jesuitism — How can we know if shit happens and nobody hears it?

Mesmerism — Sleep and no shit will happen.

Rastafarianism — Let's smoke this shit.

Navajo — Shit happens in the wind and best in the shade.

Hopi — Corn fertilizer happens.

Maya — Shit happens in cycles.

Inca — Only holy shit happens.

Aztec — If shit happens, the Gods want to see more blood.

New Age — All shit is one shit.

Holism — When shit happens, it happens everywhere at once.

Hitchhikerism — If shit happens, the answer is 42.

Ecology — If organic shit happens, it's OK.

Cannibalism — Eat only what does not happen.

Vegetarianism — If it happens to shit, don't eat it.

Hedonism — There's nothing like a good shit happening!

Materialism — Whoever dies with the most shit, wins.

Fetishism — If shit happens, go for more.

Egotism — My shit happens.

Narcissism — I love this shit!

Cynicism — But of course shit happens.

Fatalism — Oh shit, it's going to happen.

Meliorism — Shit is happening now, but it will soon cease to happen.

Futurism — More shit will happen sooner or later.

Realism — There is shit, as it happens.

Surrealism — Other shit could also happen.

Pragmaticism — Deal with shit one day at a time.

Skepticism — Maybe shit happens, but then again, maybe not.

Liberalism — Shit has a right to happen.

Pacifism — Give shit a chance to happen.

Hippie — Make happenings, not shit.

Punk — Never mind what happens.

Druidism — Shit happens around the Sacred Oak.

Satanism — !SNEPPAH TIHS

Voodoo — Shit happens from me to you.

Witchcraft — Mix this shit together and it will happen.

Wicca — If shit happened once, it will happen twice more.

Online — This shit never happens in real life.

Eschatology — You think shit happens now, you just wait.

Escapism — If shit happens, don't look back.

Atheism — I can't believe this shit!

Agnosticism — I don't know shit.

Nihilism — No shit.